Interviewed by Allies in Action

Allies In Action Asked Peter...

Why is it important to you to be an ally?

To me, being an ally is a natural and integral part of being a (white, male, hetero) human. I also happen to think that eating healthy food and meditating are natural parts of being human. But while natural, we don’t necessarily come by these things naturally. Awareness, effort, education, and practice are required.

I recognize that while we are all equal as human beings, various populations and people have been discriminated against, and much worse. So as an ally it is important not just to act as if we’re all equal, but rather to give extra attention - mental and action-oriented - to the challenges faced by so many people(s).

I want a loving and just world. I believe this is the real nature of the universe, but when we look around at most moments it certainly doesn’t appear that way. What an unsettling paradox.

Being an ally means that I work on making the world more just for all. One of my teachers said that the secret to humility is that there is a unique purpose to every human being. The world would be a very different place if we could all operate from this perspective!

And recognizing that uniqueness and importance off all the people who experience hatred, violence, discrimination - That’s being an ally.

What resources have you used to educate yourself to be a better ally?

Just like anything that is an important - even natural - human trait, allyship requires teachers. I have learned from friends, neighbors, family, colleagues, clients, my fellow Heller Group staff members, and practicing a spiritual path that believes we are all worthwhile. I have learned through conversations - some deep and easy, others a bit thorny but still so helpful.

Of course I have read books and articles - I’d love to read more. Decolonizing Wealth by Edgar Villanueva is one inspiring book I’ve read. It resonates particularly because of my work as a fundraising consultant to nonprofits. In fact, we give this book as a gift each time a new client joins our community.

One crucial component of my education has been to work with a DEI advisor to get clarity on my own personal journey and story, as well as to examine how I and my company show up in the world and why that matters. Writing a DEI statement for the company was just the beginning of a journey that requires walking the walk. And we are now just about to expand this work at the Heller Group from me working 1-1 with our advisor, to the whole staff engaging in the process. Exciting/daunting!

To sum up, my education has been a process of years. And as an ally it is an ongoing journey.

What are three critical elements to effective allyship?

I believe deeply in examining my thoughts, words and actions on a daily basis to make sure I am showing up as a loving human being. I wish to treat everyone with love and respect. 

This is something I have been working on for many years and more recently as part of my DEI journey. And it’s really important as we celebrate differences.

In fact, I believe that the world’s problems would be greatly reduced if we could all tap into self-reflection and the love of others that can come from it. This is a large part of the fight for a better world - an internal fight that can lead to external change. 

I have realized that as a white hetero man, my privilege means that I have an on/off switch for awareness of the plight of others, that people of color don’t.

As a Jewish person, my privilege is challenged because I also carry around a well-earned, pretty constant state of internal anxiety about survival. 

My wish is to continue to increase my love and respect not only for, quote, “everyone" but by paying particular attention to the lived experience of people of color and gain a better understanding of the differences that we live daily.

How do you show allyship in both your professional and personal life?

Professionally, it’s vital that I show up as an ally of all sorts to my company’s team, to our collaborators and vendors, and, crucially, to our clients. Many of our clients are serving populations and people who are discriminated against, marginalized, or impoverished. This is challenging work. My team encourages those we work with to do their best to find the positive frame of mind and hopeful future (often via stories they are telling for the benefit of fundraising), even in devastating situations.

One thing I have been doing for a few years is to have conversations about difficulties that our nonprofit client leaders may be experiencing due to racism, or all sorts of other biases.

I also make sure that our consultants who lead our client engagements all get to fully experience their leadership. One important way I do this is by not swooping in to save the day when there is something important to discuss with the client, but rather letting the consultant lead in difficult as well as smooth times (of course with support from me).

In my personal life, I gravitate toward interactions and friendships that foster the qualities of living I believe in - those that are outlined above - plus playfulness! I do my best to engage in conversations about equity and a just world, and to spend my time engaging in as loving a manner as I’m capable of. 

I am not a political activist especially, though the current political climate has made me more so. I believe there are a lot of ways to improve the world through allyship - marching in the streets and/or political organizing are just a few.

What aspect of your allyship do you want to strengthen in 2022?

For this year I am most excited about the work my team will be doing on DEI with our advisor. I am excited about showing up for our nonprofit client leaders, and our project leaders.

The Allies in Action Membership Network was founded by Yolanda F. Johnson and is a place for non people of color to unite in solidarity, taking action to champion, support and celebrate women of color in fundraising and philanthropy. This interview was originally posted on AlliesInAction.com: www.allies-in-action.com/member-spotlights/peter-heller-april-2022