As a fundraising consultant, I watch my clients deal with high stress levels on a daily basis. Raising money is a daunting task, especially when the goal is in the millions. Our work offers many opportunities for feeling afraid, dismayed and discouraged.

It’s vitally important that those leading the fundraising effort—whether it’s a capital campaign, an annual fund or a special project—stay aware of the energy and attitude they share with their team. The team takes its cues from its leaders. A critical responsibility of a fundraising leader is to help the team stay focused and positive.

My Dad and Dale Carnegie

One of the best teachers—and a natural leader—that I ever had was my dad. After he died in 2001, we found a short, framed article on his bedtable by Dale Carnegie, the developer of the famous courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking and interpersonal skills. Dad’s career was in sales, and he had read the books, taken the courses and even taught them. The title of the article was "Attitude". The last sentence of the article really struck a chord for me:

“I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.”

And so it is with fundraising: your attitude can make or break your team’s fundraising success.

Admittedly, staying positive is sometimes easier said than done. Some days joy and gratitude are nowhere to be found, and it’s easy to feel hopeless and defeated. But if you are a fundraising leader in your organization—if your title is Executive Director or Director of Development, Board Chair or Development Chair—then an essential part of your job is to stay upbeat and focused on the goal. Why? So that you can keep your team’s spirits up, so that they can keep doing their jobs successfully. By “team,” I refer to everyone involved—staff, board, volunteers—anyone who is an ambassador, connector or solicitor for your organization.

Focus Your Team on the Positive

To lead in fundraising is to keep the team focused on the good and important work you do together, no matter what is happening in the world, on the news, in politics, in the economy or in your life.

The energy you bring to the table is infectious, whether it’s positive or negative. If you bring eagerness, joy and gratitude, that’s what your team takes away with them. If you bring fear, disappointment and defeat, that’s their take-away.

That doesn’t mean that feelings of disappointment and anxiety are not legitimate in our business. I’m not recommending denial; candid discussions about real circumstances are certainly necessary and important. And sometimes venting fears and frustrations together can be beneficial and healing for the whole team.

But complaining is not leading.

Bitching Doesn’t Help

Indulging in regular bitch sessions with your team is neither beneficial nor productive. It will not help you or your team tap into the genuine enthusiasm you have for your mission—enthusiasm that’s essential in convincing donors to join your efforts. Before you share all of your fears and concerns, ask yourself if sharing them will help your team to excel.

Think of it this way: which meeting would inspire your team to do better, a meeting run by Eeyore*, or a meeting run by Tigger*?

So keep your eye on the prize, which is the invaluable work your team is doing and the positive difference you are making in the world. When you meet with your team, find your inner Tigger, not Eeyore (we all have both), and focus on the positive. It will help you AND them connect to the joy of the work, and your fundraising results will improve.

*Tigger and Eeyore are both characters in the Winnie-the-Pooh books by A. A. Milne. Boisterous and exuberant, Tigger eagerly shares his enthusiasm with others. Eeyore is generally characterized as a pessimistic, gloomy, depressed, old grey stuffed donkey.